Grabbing Life By the Horns

Not my art, but I find it gorgeous. I would credit the artist if I knew who it was.

So, something that I am really into is astrology. I know it’s something that a lot of people don’t believe in, but I find myself constantly trying to guess someone’s sign. I’m the kind of person that will immediately judge you based on your date of birth, and a knowing smile will slither across my face as I see the traits of your sun sign shining through your actions. It pleases me greatly to see the fire signs passionate, the water signs emotional, the air signs carefree, and the earth signs practical.

Now, I want to say right now that when I say I’m into astrology, that doesn’t mean that I obsess over daily horoscopes or what the stars have in store for me that week. I typically don’t pay attention to the daily horoscopes because they can vastly be wrong. Every person is living their own life and facing their own unique situations, so pinpointing exactly what is going to happen in your day based on your sign is kind of foolish, in my own opinion. And I also believe that is where most people get their “astrology is fake” nonsense.

That being said, I do believe that positions of the planets and the stars will cause us to react differently whether we want to admit it or not. Next time Mercury goes into retrograde, pay attention and I’ll guarantee you’ll see people’s frustrations up more often, along with a plague of bad luck. Full moons really do bring the crazy out of people. And other planet positions can give people better attitudes. May not be scientifically proven, but for someone who likes to people watch, I definitely see a difference when these things happen.

Anywho, I’m getting off track. As you can probably put together based on my chosen image for this post, I’m an Aries/Taurus cusp baby. Meaning that I was born at the transition period from one sign to another, and now the question is which side of the spectrum am I on?

April 19: I was born on the very last day of Aries for the year in which I was born, and this means I do share some aspects with Taurus. Because there’s nothing better than an impulsive, raging, competitive ram that has a helluva lotta stubborness attached to it.

I am proud of my sign, but you’ll find few Aries that aren’t proud to be the psycho little rams that they are. True, there are a lot of people that don’t like us, but I can understand. There have been many an Aries I have come across that I am not a fan of myself, but I am a much more reserved Aries than most. Long story short in that, I have a Moon sign of Libra and a Rising sign of Cancer: you probably can’t find two signs that are more different than Aries, and it really levels out the loudness of my sun sign.

I’m extremely shy, anti-social and socially awkward, and a mega introvert: the complete opposite of most other Aries. I blame my moon and rising signs for that (along with the fact that I’m a pretty powerful empath, but that’s a subject for a different time). But once I get to know someone, the ram comes barreling through the walls and TALKS NORMALLY LIKE THIS!

Rage is my favorite deadly sin, and like the Hulk, my secret weapon to containing it all is that I’m just always angry. But I don’t necessarily see this as a bad thing, seeing as how I’ve been living with it my entire life. In ways, I’ve turned it towards how I get my entertainment, and I use it to entertain others. It fuels my sense of humor (which admittedly can get very dark at times), and I’ve allowed it to create a persona around me that I’m pretty happy with. Complete with my resting bitch face, I’ve succeeded in chasing away the unworthy with just a single meet and greet and immediately weeding out those who can’t handle the awesomeness that is the ram.

I’m happy to be who I am for the most part (minus all of the anxiety that constantly keeps me under lock and key, and the depression that tries to weigh me down in anchors all the time). I’ve got unbridled passion and when I really get passionate about something, I will obsess over it. I’ve got dreams to one day touch the stars, and I’ll be damned if I don’t get there before the end of my days (and I don’t even necessarily mean becoming famous – my anxiety fears that). I can lead a small team to greatness, and I do it fairly and not like a complete bossy bitch. And when I decide that I care about you, I will love you and support you until I die, unless you do something to betray my trust and then I will grudge against you forever.

I’m the honest friend. If there’s something you need to know the truth about, whether it’s if you look fat in your dress, or if that dude is worth the pain, I’m the girl to come to. My filter is broken (unless I’m at work), and I value the power of honesty. Lying feels disgusting to me, and I detest being lied to. Being an empath, I know when a person is lying and it usually doesn’t go too well when I can find the proof of it.

Because I’m the brutally honest friend, however, I’m also the friend that those who are scared to hear the truth will avoid going to. Relationship problems will take longer to make their way to me than everyone else because I’ll be the first to say “I fucking told you so”. I can sense a bad egg from a mile away, and if my advice is ignored, I patiently wait until I can point and shout “SEE!? I CALLED IT!!” It hurts that I’m the last to find out about these things sometimes, but at the same time, I get it. It can get annoying being wrong all the time.

I know it gets boring being right all the time.

I have this inner ability to be a social butterfly and strut around with fire on my heels lighting everything in my path. I can be something truly amazing if I really let myself, but social anxiety usually beats me back with a stick. But here on the internet where I don’t have to talk to people face to face, I can be who I desire to be. Social anxiety isn’t a problem for the introvert on the internet. This is where we can be open and free.

I can be the ram that’s battering her way inside to get out.

And I am ready to let her out of her cage and be the shining star that she is, just like I’m always telling everyone else to be. One day I’ll rise to the top, and it’s because of this horned beauty that I will be there.

~Amber

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s