Empath: A Blessing and a Curse

There are a lot of people out there whom do not believe in Empaths. I get it, it can be hard to believe that there are people out there that can connect to others, feel their emotions when not even being near them, know when someone is lying just by reading their aura and body language, and absorb all negativity into themselves. If you do not witness this phenomenon yourself, it just seems like another paranormal story. A story of a group of people just looking to be “unique snowflakes” and looking for attention.

I can tell you, though, that Empaths are very real. Whether you believe it or not, Empaths are more than just a fairy tale. I know because I am one.

I’ve always been able to sense what those around me are feeling, and there have always been certain people that I just immediately attached to without even knowing who they are. It was just a sense as if I’d known them my entire life, and there was no possible way they were a stranger to me. And on the opposite hand, I’ve met many people that automatically caused me to bristle my feathers and be on alert every time they were nearby. Just an automatic dislike of someone that if given the chance, they always end up proving one way or another a reason for it.

I think I began to realize what was going on when I was in middle school. I was the person that always seemed to befriend people down in their lives, people that were broken and needed a shoulder to lean on, and mine was the perfect size for their head. I would love them and care for them, listen to their stories and offer advice to the best of my abilities. All the while I did this, the better they felt, the worst I began to feel.

I would begin to fall into depression as they began to grow happier by the day, and then when I was in the darkest of times and needed a friend, it seemed they would always leave me. They no longer had need for me, and who needs a depressive friend to bring them down?

Saturated in darkness and pain, I’d find myself alone and that was how and when my depression really began. I would fight to keep going, but I was a lot weaker back then. To say I was suicidal was an understatement. Many attempts brought me nothing but physical and more mental pain.

At first, I thought it was nothing more than just developing bipolar and manic depression. Not that I don’t have both illnesses, but it was much more than that and it would take me years to realize exactly what was going on. And it wasn’t until I realized what it was that I could learn how to stabilize my emotions and live without all sorts of medications.

When I first began to learn about empathy and Empaths, my interest was immediately peaked and I did days and weeks of research. All of the symptoms were there. Absorbing others emotions, sensing when someone was lying, knowing a good person from a bad person, feeling a friend’s depression from miles away, getting anxious and panicky in crowds, and everything involved. Suddenly, everything made sense and my self awareness kicked in.

Ever since those days, I’ve learned how to protect myself against the brunt of most of it. All of the mental walls I have to keep up every day to guard myself against the constant negativity from everyone around me that crashes against it. Doing all I can to ensure I don’t get caught up in large crowds because walls can only fight against so many people at one time. Using my bad and good people sensors to know who to keep close and who to avoid. And my favorite, knowing when someone is lying to me and thus, knowing who not to trust.

I love being an Empath. I love the abilities that come with it, and being able to sense when my friends need me. I love being so connected to my husband that one of us will be thinking something when the other says it out loud. I love knowing I can heal people in need just by being near them and supporting them in their time of comfort.

But there are also things I don’t like so much. I can sense tension even more so than the average person, and when there’s tension in my own home, it suffocates me and raises my depression levels. It increases my already bad anxiety, and has stopped me from enjoying myself in many places that were meant to be fun. Absorbing the negativity from anyone I come in contact with, and not always having a way to immediately release it.

I have countless stories of where I have gotten into small arguments with customers simply because of the aura they were emitting at the time. Their negativity broke through my walls, and I reacted immediately. It’s not always something that can be helped. I have little impulse control and patience, thus when someone is hostile with me, when my walls are weak, I am hostile right back.

Keeping up walls at all times is very tiring on the mental energy. By the time I make it home every day, I’m extremely tired and it’s not just from working hard all day. The amount of energy keeping everyone out is astronomical, and usually by the end of the week, I need a day to just do nothing and regain all of that energy back. Even after one day, I’m still not usually ready to run headfirst back into the game. Having two days off in a row from work is truly the best thing for the working Empath.

These are the reasons why I call it a blessing and a curse. I like knowing with whom to pick my battles, but fighting the constant war against everyone else is weary on my mind. I love having my solitude and alone time to recharge, blasting music through my earbuds to relax. I’m also honored to be one of the people my friends and family come to when they are seeking advice to a problem that they don’t trust anyone else with.

One thing I really do dislike is being taken advantage of. Narcissists love to seek me out, to try to manipulate my nature to help others to help themselves, and often times it’s too late before I realize what is going on. Admittedly, I have one narcissist in my life that I have yet to push out of my life, but it’s one that I know what they are. I know how to defend myself against them, and I can handle having one in my life.

If you know how to fight against those that want to manipulate you, it’s easy to get through life as an Empath. Trust your instincts over all else, despite what the person is trying to tell you. As hard as saying no is sometimes, saying no will sometimes save you a lot of trouble. I had to learn how to say no the hard way after being used multiple times.

Believe in Empaths or not, it’s hard to deny the possibility of our existence. So next time, try opening your mind to the possibilities, and maybe you’ll be surprised at what you find. Empaths are the best friends to have around when looking for a decent partner, I might add.

Bring a potential partner to an Empath, and let us do the judging for you. If we say no, then push them far away. But if we like what we sense and feel, then have at it.

~Amber

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