I have been absent and neglecting my goals for the future for the past few months. Life came up and threw some unexpected curve balls at me to tempt me into attempting something I wasn’t very good at before, and I had to fail through it in order to realize once again that I wasn’t meant for it. Right around the time I realized I had to give it up, the holidays came barreling through and any chance at getting back into a groove were shot out of the sky. But what can I say? That’s what life does; throws us through rounds to test us and see if we can push through it.
The good news is: I pushed through it.
The last that I had left with you, my darling readers, I had been in the middle of battling postpartum depression. It was not easy by any means, and there were some very dark days where thoughts of completely giving up on everything (and I do mean everything…) riddled my emotions and mentality. Thankfully, I have one of the best support systems in the world through my wonderful husband and beautiful children, and I have, for the most part, succeeded in beating back my demons (at least for now).
Of course, the thoughts still haunt me from time to time that I’m not good enough, that I’m not worth this wonderful life I have, and that I’m not fit to be a mother, but those thoughts happen less and less often. I find myself smiling, feeling happy and blissful, and looking forward to things in ways that I honestly haven’t for years. For all the crap that life has put us through the past year, my husband and I honestly have not been in a better place than we are now. A lot of hard work that has finally paid off; and a large part of the reason I was able to defeat postpartum depression as quickly as I did.
I’m sure the question comes up as to how I succeeded in this feat. Well, it’s simple. I cut out the toxicity of my life, I made some vital changes to my environment, I spent a lot of time with my family, and my spare time playing Final Fantasy XIV (a hobby that I find relaxing). Combined, I had found the perfect formula to push through the holidays and financial instability to find peace within myself and my abilities to be a mother. All without the need for medication; something that I had come very close to seeking due to the dark places my mind kept throwing me in.
So, now I am in a happy place, and the time has come to pursue my goals. It is time for me to pick back up my blogging and attempting to establish my social media presence. On top of this, I will also be finding time to edit my WIP manuscript so that I can publish book 1 of The Shards of Prophecy at some point this year. I also intend to start streaming come March/April after I get the necessary equipment to help that become more of a success.
My first goal is to pick up blogging at least twice a week. Sunday and Thursday, my friends, I intend to bring you some reading material that I hope is entertaining enough for you and for you to hopefully share with your friends. I’m a type to like variety, so there will be plenty of material about different subjects from me.
There will be some Final Fantasy blogs. There will be some fighting mental illness blogs. There will be family blogs. There will be many blogs in the near future. I hope you stick by to see it all bloom.