I am, as I have mentioned briefly in the past, an empath. I consider myself to be more powerful (sensitive) than most, as I can pick up the slightest change in energy around me in a heartbeat. The less energy I put into my walls that I build against everyone else’s energy, the stronger this ability of mine becomes. Strange as it is, keeping everyone out weakens my abilities, mainly due to the extreme amount of energy it takes for me to constantly keep those walls up. So why do I bother with them?
If I don’t keep up my subconscious walls, I quickly become an erratic mess. I dealt with this particular situation just last weekend because a combination of multiple different emotions on my end and others linked to me caused my walls to weaken as I couldn’t concentrate on them. What proceeded was a wide range of emotions that barreled through me and my mouth whilst at my place of employment, followed by a near breakdown before I could even leave the store.
Here’s the kicker for those who aren’t quite familiar with empathy and how it works: this wasn’t even necessarily due to my own emotions. Though I was already stressed, I also sense, and if I’m not careful, absorb the bad energy of anyone around me. Empaths are natural healers, and we seek to remove negative thoughts and emotions from those we normally find worthy. However, an empath out of control can do this even with strangers, just like I did last weekend.
The result wasn’t pretty and I had a rough time handling before I got myself back together. But the good news is I succeeded through making sure I had some alone time (thank the spirits for my daughters and helping with the little son), and getting plenty of rest. Was I 100% on Sunday? No, but I was able to manage.
Anyway, this whole thing does have a point. Today, I woke up and I could just feel deep down that it was going to be a despicable day. It was bone deep and I had to drag myself around the house in order to get ready for work, but I succeeded and forced myself out the door. Was this a bad day today? I wouldn’t say it was bad, but I definitely had a hard time moving all day.
This is what happens when an empath allows their energy levels to drain too low, but not low enough to where the walls completely come down. The very small bit of energy I had left was being used to sustain the walls so that I didn’t breakdown again. Anytime I was around people today, however, I could feel their irritations, depressions, and angers all beating at the weak glass with big hammers. I fled register even quicker than I normally do in knowing it would have only taken one extremely irate customer to shatter what was left. These are the times that usually result in calls to the corporate customer service number.
So, where did I go wrong? Admittedly, I spent a good amount of time Friday and Saturday in not-so-good moods for many different reasons. This was my first mistake: letting my irritations rule me. I knew it was foolish, but sometimes I can’t even stop myself. The situation unfolded and was resolved Saturday night, but it was right before I was heading to bed for the night. Needless to say, my full night’s rest was not enough to rebuild.
Staying angry, especially for something you know is not a good reason, is one of the worse things an empath can do. I am guilty of it quite often, as rage is my favorite deadly sin, but I know what will damage my walls and what will not. I have no one to blame but myself for how poorly things went, and I am woman enough to admit it. Any true empath would be able to.
So, how to regenerate the energy to get those walls back up and ready to rock and roll the next day? Rest. Rest and meditation are the key ingredients to gathering that energy back up. Ideally, meditation in a nature setting is the best way to go, but in cases like mine where it’s not always possible, make due with what you have.
My salt lamp gives me a nice gentle glow and clears a lot of bad energy for me, and along with the perfect incense and hobby to break my mind from the physical plane for a while, I’m good to go. Everyone has their own ways of doing such things like meditation. It’s not always sitting in silence, waiting for your mind to break away. It’s simply doing something where your mind escapes the so-called reality that you are forced to live in. I can do this simply by putting on some headphones and disappearing into my head while mindlessly playing a video game. And by doing something that requires zero concentration, I can rebuild mass amounts of energy.
It’s pretty fucking awesome, if I have to be honest.
A good night’s sleep is also a key component, but that’s also, once again, not always possible. Insomnia rakes us. Babies keep us awake. Sometimes, not getting sleep is what will drive an empath to insanity the fastest due to being unable to get those walls up. My best suggestion is to speak with a doctor or therapist to see why you may not be sleeping, and if possible and/or needed, get medication that can help. Sleep. Is. Important.
Do I believe I regained the energy I needed today to make it through tomorrow? To be honest, I’m not quite sure. I decided it was more important to spend some time with my son and talk with my husband while he was working to help keep his energy levels up rather than work on my own regeneration. But these two are fantastic energy sources and constantly flood me with positive energy, so I’m hoping they did me a solid by my own favors to them. Only time will tell.
Tomorrow’s a big day at work, so I’m certainly hoping so. Empaths, my friends, get your needed rest and do your things, but please make sure to not overdo it. We’ve all been there and we all know how terrible it is.
Anyone curious about empaths and empathy, you may contact me at any time! I am not an expert, but I will certainly answer questions to the best of my abilities!